"The Hand of the Potter: An Idyll"

After a momentary silence space
Some vessel of a more ungainly Make
"They sneer at me for leaning all awry —
What! did the hand of the Potter shake?"
Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyám, trans. Edward Fitzgerald
What fine Italian Hands, and Greek
Ruthenian, and Quok, and Queek! —
And hellish some, and one divine!
What Autographs that flow like wine!
Official Verse of the Impromptu New Crystal Palace
Autograph Bash · July 15th, 16th, 17th, 2002
Smelling of candy and tigers. . .
— Borges
Bootless for such as these the mighty task
Of bottling God the Father in a flask.
— Heroic Poem in Praise of Wine, Hilaire Belloc
Dramatis Personae
All persons, entities, and references appearing in Section I. Thirteen named or identified figures.
8
Present in Scene
3
Referenced Only
2
Embedded Narrative
Patrick T. K.Dealer · Old-York Square▶
Full Name
Patrick T. K. — surname withheld. "His surname will not be given here or anywhere; only three persons in the world know what it is."
Titles
Sly Gold Dealer · Sly Hand Dealer · Sly Everything Dealer · "the coolest dealer in the world"
Physical
Fat. "When he prostrated himself, he still wasn't very flat." Sits on a "strong chair."
Senses
"Lean and hungry eyes that could not be fooled" — and "lean and hungry ears" likewise. Can determine a person's age, birth-season, weight, and the value of what they carry by the sound of their approach alone.
Location
His shop in Old-York Square.
Abilities
Extraordinary auditory perception. Artisan: made the John-the-Baptist head from wax and papier-mâché. Possibly a ventriloquist — "This was true in some, but not all, cases."
Self-Correction
Initially estimated the lad as 11 years 3 months, born in springtime. Corrected after the transaction to 11 years 5 months, "born at the bitter end of February and is not a springtime child at all."
Autograph Knowledge
Has personally examined 4 of 5 verified signatures of Himself. Has not seen the one in the Monastery of the Snow Storm in Lhasa. Has them "engraved on the backs of my eyeballs."
Assets
10,000 genuine shillings (~250,000 WD). Gold coins in open nail kegs. Gold dust mixed into floor dust. World-class shop inventory.
Belief
Believes there may be a sixth qualified buyer. "I only regret that, for purpose of symmetry, he is likely to be a third devil."
Narrative Role
Narrator within the text: tells the first third of the account of how he obtained the autograph.
Epithet
"That vessel of ungainly make" — connecting him to the Khayyám epigraph and the title.
The LadNamed as Lad McGregor in §II▶
Name
Unnamed in Section I. Named in Section II as Lad McGregor, son of Old Lad McGregor.
Age
Patrick's corrected estimate: 11 years and 5 months. Born "at the bitter end of February."
Weight
Six stone = 84 pounds. "A slight lad."
Physical
Barefoot, coming over hot pavements, holding his breath. "Absolutely silent footsteps."
Cargo
A piece of paper with an autograph. Patrick knows before seeing it that its value "goes well into eight figures."
Action (Shop)
Enters shop. Releases held breath. Places paper on table. Chooses the shilling over ten World Dollars. Runs out.
Action (Embedded)
In Patrick's embedded narrative: the lad saw a Person walking at noontime. Noticed His feet didn't touch the ground. Told Him so. Person thanked him.
Key Info Given
Told Patrick the "slightly unusual circumstances" of how he obtained the paper. Also told Patrick: "He was left-handed."
Diamond-Eyes DuganDealer · Jerusalem▶
Role
Leading autograph dealer from Jerusalem. The only person who has examined all five verified signatures of Himself.
Prostration
15 seconds. "With great flair and effect." "An unbelieving sort of man."
Authentication
"It checks perfectly with the other five verified signatures."
Madam JingoDealer · Welsh▶
Name
Droll professional name. "The first Madam Jingo was an early Empress of Japan." This Madam Jingo is Welsh.
Actions
Confirms authenticity and eight-figure value. Introduces the Jim Jam comparison. Proposes the Autograph Bash at the New Crystal Palace.
Mark McLam of CorkDealer · Cork, Ireland▶
Argument
The price is "merely whimsical." The five verified signatures "are neither bought nor sold. They simply are." Five holders: "three saints and two devils." No sixth qualified buyer.
Prince PodpisDealer · Russian Count▶
Name
"Prince Signature." Russian: подпись (podpis) = signature. An authentic Russian Count of the old line.
Graf AutografDealer · German Count▶
Name
"Count Autograph." German: Graf = Count; Autograf = Autograph. An authentic German Count of the old line.
John's-Head JohnsonTöpelgeist · Patrick's Shop▶
Nature
A Töpelgeist — "they are a variety of the Poltergeist."
Appearance
A wax and papier-mâché head of John the Baptist with a policeman's cap atop it. Patrick made the head; the Töpelgeist inhabited it.
Ventriloquism
"Most of Patrick's friends believed that Patrick was a ventriloquist. . . This was true in some, but not all, cases."
The SpotterOld-York Square · Unnamed▶
Role
Serves every shop in Old-York Square. Spotted the red lantern within 3 minutes and put out the word.
Referenced Only
"Himself" / The PersonGod the Father · Named in §IV▶
Identity
Not explicitly named in Section I. Referred to as "Himself," "this Person," "Him." Fully identified as God the Father in Section IV.
Autograph
The sixth verified signature on Earth. Written left-handed. Patrick: "Nobody, except a very few of us select ones, had ever guessed that about him."
In Embedded Narrative
"Absolutely a personage, and yet he seemed to be perfectly conventional in every way" — except His feet "did not come all the way down to the ground."
Jim Jam the Crackerjack ManReferenced · Appears in §III▶
Title
"The best known man in the world." Also billed as "The Man Nobody Knows."
Autographs
"There are even fewer than five. . . Some experts say that there are fewer than one of them."
NostradamusReferenced · Historical▶
Prophecy
Old-York Square will be "absolutely overwhelmed and inundated by refugees from a worldwide disaster" and "threaten to sink into a deep sea of mire or a bottomless abyss."
The Five Qualified BuyersReferenced · Collective▶
Composition
"Three saints and two devils." Each already possesses one of the five verified signatures.
Significance
Patrick fears the sixth buyer will be "a third devil" — shifting the balance from 3:2 toward 3:3.
The Autograph Registry
What Section I establishes about the authenticated signatures of "Himself" and the Jim Jam autographs.
Signatures of Himself
The Six Verified Hands
Five previously known + one newly acquired by Patrick = six total
Value
"A middle to upper eight-figure sum" — approximately $50,000,000–$99,999,999 World Dollars.
Handedness
Written left-handed. "Nobody, except a very few of us select ones, had ever guessed that about him."
One Known Location
The Monastery of the Snow Storm, Lhasa — the one Hand Patrick has not seen.
Holders
"Three saints and two devils."
The Sixth Hand (Patrick's)
The newly acquired autograph
Medium
A page torn from the lad's autograph book.
Obverse
The autograph of Himself.
Reverse
"A smudge that I have not yet deciphered." Revealed in §IV as the autograph of Jim Jam / Satan.
Purchase Price
One shilling, later a second shilling for the reverse.
Jim Jam the Crackerjack Man's Autographs
Jim Jam Autographs
Known Count
"Even fewer than five. . . Some experts say that there are fewer than one of them."
Value
Equal to those of Himself: "The only autographs in the world of equal value."
Patrick's Shop Inventory
"Overflowing with the richest and most select treasures from all the lands and seas of the world. Or else it was the most impossible shop in Old-York Square."
1
Open nail kegs of gold coins
"Filled to overflowing. . . many of them dribbled onto the floor."
2
Live monkey with articulated brass tail
Lost original tail in "a grotesque and horrible accident." Patrick made the flexible brass replacement.
3
Comic books from the Comic Book Boom of Black Africa
"Tall piles of the newest and most splendid."
4
Human mummy (unwrapped) with portable typewriter
Paper reads "My name is Fhook." Patrick typed those words "for a joke."
5
Wax and papier-mâché head of John the Baptist
Made by Patrick. Policeman's cap. Inhabited by the Töpelgeist.
6
Solid chronometer
On display. The lad watches it measure Patrick's one-minute prostration.
7
Red lantern
Signal device. When lit: "some world-shaking item in his shop."
8
Gold dust in the floor
"The dust on the floor had a large assay of gold dust in it."
9
Strong chair behind the table
Patrick's seat. "Strong" — to bear his weight.
10
10,000 genuine shillings
~25 World Dollars each. A collector's item "whose time had never quite come."
Transactions
Every exchange of goods or value in Section I.
Transaction 1: The Autograph Purchase
Parties
The Lad (seller) → Patrick T. K. (buyer)
Item
One page from the lad's autograph book, bearing the autograph of Himself on one side and a "smudge" on the other.
Price Paid
One genuine shilling (~25 World Dollars). The lad chose it over ten World Dollars.
True Value
"Middle to upper eight-figure sum."
Asymmetry
Ratio of purchase price to true value: approximately 1 : 2,000,000.
Patrick's Assessment
"You are a wise lad." The shilling at 25 WD is better than the offered 10 WD.
Background: The Shilling Economy
Value
~25 World Dollars each. "Not more than that."
Patrick's Supply
10,000 genuine shillings.
Discontinuation
"They quit making shillings fifty years before I was born."
Timeline
All time markers in Section I. The story provides unusually precise temporal measurements.
Noontime
Patrick sits in his bright shop. "One clear noontime of a sunny summer day."
Noontime
Patrick hears the lad's "absolutely silent footsteps" approaching.
Noontime
The lad enters. Releases held breath. Places the autograph on the table.
+1 minute
Patrick prostrates himself. Duration measured on the chronometer.
Shortly after
Patrick rises, questions lad, buys autograph for one shilling. Lad runs out.
Shortly after
Patrick corrects age estimate: 11y5m, born bitter end of February.
Noontime still
Patrick lights the red lantern.
+3 minutes
The spotter spots the lantern and puts out the word.
+9 minutes
All the leading City dealers arrive.
+1 hour
Great dealers from Düsseldorf, Paris, New York, Hershey PA, Rio, Shanghai, Mecca, Kōbe, New Delhi arrive.
Afternoon
Authentication, discussion. Patrick tells the first third of his account.
Afternoon
Madam Jingo proposes the Autograph Bash.
Evening → Dawn +2
The Bash: 550 dealers + 29,000 collectors. "It lasted all night and into the following dawn, and also into the dawn after that."
Allusions & References
Every identifiable literary, historical, theological, and cultural reference in Section I.
1. The Rubáiyát Epigraph
Omar Khayyám, Rubáiyát, trans. Edward Fitzgerald (5th ed., 1889), stanza LXXXVII
The Potter = God as Creator; the vessel = creation. The stanza asks whether defect in the created being is the fault of the Creator. This gives the story its title and central metaphor. Patrick is explicitly "a vessel of more ungainly make." His hands are "suddenly shaking" — collapsing the distance between Potter and vessel.
2. "Lean and hungry"
Shakespeare, Julius Caesar, I.ii.194
"Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look." Applied by Lafferty to Patrick's eyes and ears — a comic doubling importing Cassius's watchfulness. The extension to ears is pure Lafferty synesthetic absurdism.
3. "Stone the crows!"
British / Australian vernacular exclamation
Expression of astonishment. Situates the lad in an English or Commonwealth speech register.
4. The Man Nobody Knows
Bruce Barton, The Man Nobody Knows (1925)
Barton presented Jesus as a dynamic businessman. Lafferty inverts: the title is given to Jim Jam (Satan), while God walks unrecognized. The divine is incognito; the diabolical commands fame.
5. Nostradamus Prophecy
Attributed to Nostradamus; likely Lafferty-invented
The prophecy of Old-York Square's inundation cannot be matched to any known quatrain. Functions as foreshadowing. The language echoes biblical apocalyptic imagery.
6. Töpelgeist
German folklore
From Tölpel (simpleton) — a "bumbling ghost" distinguished from the more aggressive Poltergeist. John's-Head's character fits: he wakes up, makes demands, later backs down from Jim Jam's snake.
7. John the Baptist's Head
Mark 6:14–29, Matthew 14:1–12
The severed head as relic, artistic subject, and symbol of prophetic witness persisting through death. Lafferty makes it literal: the head speaks, eats, and has opinions.
8. Empress Jingū / "Madam Jingo"
Japanese legendary history; also "jingoism"
Empress Jingū (c. 169–269 AD), legendary regent. The English word "jingo" derives separately from a 17th-century oath. Lafferty may be making a playful false etymology.
9. Old-York Square
Implied English geography
The "Old" prefix distinguishes from New York. Setting is implicitly England — shillings, British garb, countryside.
10. "Three saints and two devils"
Moral taxonomy; theological pattern
Cosmological forces as literal participants in the autograph market. Patrick's expectation of "a third devil" foreshadows the climactic dirty deal.
11. "It is so hard to remember everything"
Theological comedy; kenosis tradition
The omniscient God finds it "hard to remember" the details of His disguise. Simultaneously humanizes the divine and affirms the vastness of what must be "remembered" to maintain incarnate appearance.
12. "My name is Fhook"
Unknown; possibly onomatopoeic or obscene
Typed by Patrick on the mummy's typewriter "for a joke." A mute text attributed to a corpse — paralleling the story's concern with authentication and identity behind a signature.
13. The Comic Book Boom of Black Africa
Lafferty world-building; speculative futurism
An invented cultural phenomenon placing Africa at the center of popular culture. Characteristic of Lafferty's decentered futurism.
14. The Prostration
Religious and courtly tradition
Patrick (one minute) and Diamond-Eyes (fifteen seconds) prostrate before the autograph. Treated as both genuine worship and professional skill — connoisseurship and devotion merged.
15. "Fewer than one"
Logical paradox
Of Jim Jam's autographs: a number less than one but not zero. A Lafferty logical impossibility played entirely straight.
Textual Notes & Puzzles
Contradictions, ambiguities, and unresolved questions in Section I.
Chronology
Patrick's Self-Correction: The Lad's Age
Before the lad enters: 11y3m, springtime. After: 11y5m, bitter end of February. Two discrepancies. Patrick's perception is supposed to be infallible. What caused the correction? Proximity to the divine object recalibrating perception? Or simply being rattled?
Chronology
The Shilling Discontinuation Problem
The lad says shillings stopped "fifty years before I was born." The Bash is dated July 2002. Lad born ~1991 → shillings stopped ~1941. Historical fact: minted through 1966/1971. ~30-year discrepancy — alternate timeline, imprecise rounding, or Lafferty carelessness.
Identity
"Only three persons know" Patrick's Surname
Who? The story never answers. Candidates: Patrick himself, two close associates, or supernatural beings.
Ontology
The Ventriloquism Question
"True in some, but not all, cases." John's-Head is sometimes Patrick's voice, sometimes independently animate. No method for distinguishing which.
Ontology
"Which came first, the Head or the Ghost"
Patrick made the head; the ghost inhabited it. But posed as an open question — implying the ghost may have preceded or caused the head's creation.
Structure
The Thirds
Patrick tells a third today, tomorrow, the next day. Mirrors the Bash's three days. The first third covers only: the lad saw the Person, noticed the levitation, told Him, He thanked the lad.
Worldbuilding
The One-Hour Worldwide Assembly
Dealers from Düsseldorf, Rio, Shanghai, etc. arrive within an hour. Implies near-instantaneous transport, deliberate hyperbole, or different physics.
Worldbuilding
Hershey, Pennsylvania
Placed alongside world capitals. Classic Lafferty: the absurd particular smuggled into a grand list.
Foreshadowing
The Smudge on the Back
The autograph of Satan on the reverse of God's autograph. Two Himselfs on one page, back to back. The deal behind God's back was made, literally, on the back of God's paper.
Numerology
The Numbers of Section I
Three, six, eight, ten, twenty-five, ten thousand, one mile, three minutes, nine minutes, one hour, 550, 29,000, one minute, fifteen seconds, five → six, three saints + two devils. The story saturates itself with precise quantities.
Dramatis Personae
All persons and entities appearing or newly named in Section II.
7
New Characters
5
Continuing from §I
2
Killed
New in Section II
The Queen of ShebaIdentity Undetermined▶
Dual Identity
Either the original Queen resurrected "with the grave-dirt still clinging to her body and hair," or the London nightclub singer identically named. "Whichever one she was, she was quite pretty."
Voice
The nightclub singer "said to have a weak and scratchy voice."
Value
"All the autographs of whichever Queen of Sheba she was would have instant value."
Three Jim Jam ImitatorsNon-Authenticated▶
Appearance
Extravagantly dressed. Slashed left earlobes dripping blood. Snake-o-form walking sticks.
Authentication
Blood failed to test positive for all seven deadly diseases. Certified as "Genuine Non-Authenticated Jim Jam Autographs" — worth $15 each.
The Wild Man From BorneoWrestler▶
Prop
A cage. Signs autographs from inside, roaring with each one.
Le CannonnierWrestler · Kills Two Boys▶
Prop
Brass cannon. "He did now shoot and kill two boys but that was a double accident."
Aftermath
"Attendants. . . took the two little bodies out and buried them in a secret place so as not to cause any fuss."
The HangmanWrestler▶
Prop
Gallows on wheels. Did not hang anyone this evening. Rumored to have hanged several at a previous bash.
Lad McGregorNow Named▶
Full Name
"My name is Lad. My name is Lad McGregor." His given name is literally "Lad."
Father
Old Lad McGregor. "A pleasant-looking man who seemed to be amused."
Action
Returns ~2 a.m. Claims second shilling for the reverse autograph.
Old Lad McGregorLad's Father▶
Knowledge
Knows the reverse autograph is "just as valuable." How he knows is unresolved.
The Autograph Registry
All autographs created, sold, or exhibited in Section II.
Queen of Sheba Autographs
Live-signed at the Bash
Volume
"Signing autographs like a storm."
Value
"Instant value" regardless of which Queen.
Genuine Non-Authenticated Jim Jam Autographs
Signed by the three imitators · ~2,000 in queue
Value
"At least fifteen dollars each, but they were not worth ten million dollars each."
MENE MENE TEKEL UPHARSIN
Three wall sections · $10 million each
Scripts
Babylonian Cuneiform · Old Hebrew · Latin Letters "of remarkably modern mode."
Defense
"God Himself was always an advocate of alphabetical reform."
Transport
Three 28-wheel trucks with cranes, motors running.
The Autograph Written in Fire
"Various novelties"
Medium
"Written large in fire on immaterial air." Moved by clamps with sparking magnets.
Transaction: The Second Shilling
Parties
Lad McGregor → Patrick T. K.
Running Total
2 shillings (~50 WD) for a page bearing the autographs of God the Father and Satan.
The Autograph Bash
Complete catalogue of exhibits, performers, and phenomena.
550
Big-Name Dealers
29,000
Collectors
3
Days
2
Deaths
1
The Queen of Sheba
Live Autographing. Identity undetermined.
2
Three Jim Jam Imitators
~2,000 in queue. $15 per "Genuine Non-Authenticated" autograph.
3
Rock Singers
Many, unnamed.
4
The Wild Man From Borneo
Wrestler. In cage. Roars with every autograph.
5
Le Cannonnier
Wrestler. Brass cannon. Killed two boys.
6
The Hangman
Wrestler. Gallows on wheels. Hanged no one this evening.
7
Three MENE MENE TEKEL UPHARSIN Walls
$10 million each. Three trucks with cranes standing ready.
8
The Autograph Written in Fire
On immaterial air. Moved by sparking magnet clamps.
Patrick's Embedded Narrative: The Second Third
Patrick's continued account of how the lad met the Person. Told after second dawn.
Sequence of Events
1. Garb
Not British, yet in "contemporary British Countryside Garb, tweeds, walking shoes, walking hat with a feather in it, with a walking stick, and with a British pipe."
2. Size
"A large and pleasant Person who was not really extraordinarily tall. Or was he?"
3. Moon Trick
The lad bends over and looks between his legs. Normally this corrects the moon illusion, showing true (smaller) size. Applied to the Person, it reveals the opposite: "a veritable giant, taller than the trees, taller than the distance between here and a full moon."
4. The Inversion
"(Oh, this is all backwards!)" Normal vision is the illusion. True vision comes from looking between one's legs.
5. Creatures
Birds and squirrels on His shoulders. Two Scarlet Tanagers — a North American species impossible in England.
6. Recognition
The impossible tanagers trigger a "sudden moment of illumination."
7. The Autograph
The lad offers his autograph book. The Person signs it. They part.
The Logic of Recognition
Five Clues
(1) Feet not touching ground [§I]; (2) non-British in British garb; (3) cosmic true size; (4) creatures at ease; (5) American birds in England.
Trigger
The tanagers. A boy who reads Bixley's Big Bird Book sees an ornithological impossibility whose only resolution is: the Person is the Creator.
Timeline
July 15–17, 2002.
July 15 · Day 1
Evening
The Bash begins. 550 dealers, 29,000 collectors.
Evening
Le Cannonnier kills two boys. Bodies secretly buried.
~2:00 a.m.
Lad and Old Lad McGregor arrive. Second shilling paid. Name revealed.
July 16 · Day 2
24 hours in
"How time does fly at a Big-Time Autograph Bash!"
July 17 · Second Dawn
Second dawn
Patrick and friends leave the New Crystal Palace, return to shop.
After second dawn
Patrick tells the second third: garb, moon trick, tanagers, recognition, signing.
Allusions & References
Section II references.
1. The Section II Epigraph
Lafferty-composed doggerel
"Italian Hands, and Greek / Ruthenian, and Quok, and Queek" — real nationalities dissolve into invented ones. "Hellish some, and one divine" restates the central axis. Dates the Bash: July 15–17, 2002.
2. The New Crystal Palace
The Crystal Palace, London (1851; destroyed 1936)
Paxton's iron-and-glass temple of spectacle, rebuilt as the "New Crystal Palace." Places Old-York Square near London.
3. The Queen of Sheba
1 Kings 10; 2 Chronicles 9; Quran 27; Kebra Nagast
The authentication problem in human form: how do you verify identity when the claimant is from deep antiquity? The grave-dirt costume makes the nightclub singer and the corpse visually identical.
4. "Dying, and dying, and dying"
Liturgical triple repetition
Echoes the Trisagion and the Agnus Dei. Applied to dying rather than holiness — Jim Jam's perpetual dying as dark parody of eternal life.
5. "Wild Man From Borneo"
American sideshow tradition, 19th–20th century
Stock sideshow figure (the Davis brothers, exhibited by Barnum's associates). Transposed into wrestling, then autograph culture. The cage persists across all contexts.
6. MENE MENE TEKEL UPHARSIN
Daniel 5:25–28
The original divine autograph: a disembodied hand writing on a wall. TEKEL = "weighed" — resonating with the story's obsessive counting and valuing.
7. "God. . . an advocate of alphabetical reform"
Accommodatio tradition in biblical hermeneutics
Divine revelation adapting to human understanding, made absurdly literal.
8. The Scarlet Tanager
Piranga olivacea — North American passerine
Exclusively New World. Its presence on the Person's shoulders in England is the impossible clue that triggers recognition. The Creator is not limited by His own biogeography.
9. Bixley's Big Bird Book
Lafferty invention
No real publication. The alliterative name has a children's-literature quality. Specialized knowledge (ornithology) serves as the key to theological recognition.
10. The Moon Trick
Optical illusion literature; folk method
A real method for breaking the moon illusion, inverted: with the Person, it reveals cosmic rather than reduced size. Normal perception is the real illusion.
11. Animals on the Creator's Shoulders
Edenic / Franciscan tradition
Eden before the Fall; St. Francis's animal companionship. The Creator walks with the Franciscan ease that Francis himself only imitated.
12. "Ruthenian"
East Slavic historical term
Carpathian peoples. Marks the verse as geographically expansive, encompassing the periphery of European Christendom.
13. The Snake-o-Form Walking Stick
Exodus 7:8–12
Anticipates §III where Jim Jam's stick becomes a live snake. The imitators' inert sticks = Pharaoh's magicians' props. The real Jim Jam is the one whose stick actually lives.
Textual Notes & Puzzles
Section II.
Identity
"My Name is Lad"
The lad's proper name is "Lad" — retroactively recasting every use of "the lad" in §I as simultaneously common noun and proper name.
Identity
Old Lad's Knowledge
Old Lad knows the reverse is "just as valuable." Patrick hasn't even deciphered it. The knowledge gap is unresolved.
Violence
The Casual Deaths
Le Cannonnier kills two boys. Presented with complete narrative flatness. The festive space absorbs death without disruption — medieval carnival's proximity to execution.
Chronology
July 15–17, 2002
The epigraph dates the Bash precisely, placing the story in Lafferty's near-future (written ~1982). By 2002: World Dollars, discontinued shillings, Comic Book Boom of Black Africa, New Crystal Palace.
Perception
The Moon Trick Inversion
With the moon, the trick reveals smaller true size. With the Person, larger. Patrick's parenthetical — "(Oh, this is all backwards!)" — signals the inversion. Normal vision diminishes the divine to human scale.
Structure
The Thirds and Their Timing
First third before the Bash. Second third as it ends. Third third presumably after. The narrative installments span the same temporal arc as the festive frame.
Authentication
The Blood Test
Jim Jam authentication is medical, not graphological. The blood is the signature. An authentic Jim Jam autograph must carry seven specific infections.
Worldbuilding
"Genuine Non-Authenticated"
A certificate of honest fakery — the autograph world's equivalent of a known counterfeit sold as a known counterfeit.
Dramatis Personae
Jim Jam's first on-page appearance dominates Section III.
1
First Appearance
6
Continuing
7
Snake Deaths
Jim Jam the Crackerjack ManFirst On-Page Appearance▶
Detection
Smelled before seen. "He did smell like tigers."
Self-Description
"The slickest trick of the Devil is to convince people that he does not exist."
The Snake Trick
Walking stick → live snake → bites him → dies from his blood → resurrected. Seven times, once per disease.
Phriktossitos
"The grain that is grown only in the iron meadows of Hell."
Seven Diseases
HTL-3 Virus, Hepatitis B, Epstein-Barr, Sickle Cell Anemia, die Syph, die Lepra, Glotz Disease.
Glotz Disease
"Very contagious and completely deadly." Found only in "the quartz-crystal veins of the devils of Hell." An "'exclusive' that I wish to retain until my hour is come."
Power
Silences John's-Head. The snake threatens John's-Head; John's-Head backs off and loses face.
John's-Head JohnsonMajor Role in §III▶
Cap
Now a commodore's cap. "(no, no, it was wearing a commodore's cap rather than a policeman's cap now)."
Accusation
"I believe that you are the Devil."
Argument
"Your best trick. . . is convincing people that none of this is happening."
Physiology
"Neatly healed and smooth at the throat and closed off there." Eats voraciously; food "didn't seem to go anywhere."
Feast
36 hamburgers, 99 hot dogs, 29 Junk Yard Dogs, 55 Coney Island Sandwiches, 105 Macedonia Fruit Salads, 12 gallons of coffee.
Patrick T. K.The Third Third▶
Accent
Once had a Jewish accent, "cured. . . forty years ago." Changed his name to an Irish name at the same time. The lad said Himself's accent was "Like yours. . . very like yours."
Revelation
"I had no idea that I still had an accent."
Madam JingoContinuing▶
Key Lines
"That is the corniest of all the Ancient Sorceries." Then: "Jim Jam has convinced me at least. I don't believe that any of this is happening." And finally: "How would one go about telling God the Father that he still has a residual Jewish accent?"
The Snake Sequence
Jim Jam's central performance: a sorcery with seven repetitions and a theological argument woven through it.
The Sequence
1
Jim Jam throws walking stick on the floor → it becomes a live snake.
2
Madam Jingo: "The corniest of all the Ancient Sorceries."
3
Jim Jam: "There is a lot of phriktossitos, the grain that is grown only in the iron meadows of Hell."
4
Snake bites Jim Jam → convulses → dies.
5
"That's once, snake." Resurrected. Dies again. Resurrected. × 7.
6
"The snake has become completely psychotic, mad in fact."
7
Snake threatens John's-Head. John's-Head offers to bite back. John's-Head backs off. "He lost face."
8
Jim Jam turns snake back into walking stick. Twirls it. Departs.
The Argument
Level 1
Jim Jam (Baudelaire): the Devil's trick = making you doubt he exists.
Level 2
John's-Head (upgrade): the real trick = making you doubt anything supernatural is happening.
Level 3
Madam Jingo (capitulation): "I don't believe that any of this is happening." The trick works in real time.
The Seven Deadly Diseases
Named with "seven-fold pride." Authentication markers and parody of the Seven Deadly Sins.
1. HTL-3 VirusReal · HIV precursor name▶
Identity
HTLV-III, early designation for HIV. Lafferty writes "HTL-3" — slight abbreviation from early press accounts. Story written ~1982, before nomenclature settled.
2. Hepatitis BReal · Blood-borne▶
Relevance
Blood-borne: relevant to the blood-test authentication protocol.
3. Epstein-BarrReal · Ubiquitous▶
Note
Most common virus in the list — most adults carry EBV. Incongruity: EBV is not typically deadly.
4. Sickle Cell AnemiaReal · Genetic · Not Viral▶
Anomaly
Genetic, not infectious. Cannot be transmitted through blood contact. Either Jim Jam's blood operates on different rules, or Lafferty plays loose with pathology.
5. Die SyphReal · German · Bacterial▶
Language
German rendering. The switch to German for the final three gives the list a medical-register shift.
6. Die LepraReal · German · Biblical▶
Symbolism
The paradigmatic biblical disease of uncleanness. The Devil carries the disease Christ healed — as permanent corruption.
7. Glotz DiseaseInvented · Exclusive▶
Etymology
German glotzen = to stare. Disease of the Evil Eye? Or Lafferty nonsense-German.
"My hour"
Echoes Christ's recurring phrase in John's Gospel. Jim Jam applies eschatological language to his own schedule.
John's-Head's Feast
Recovery through appetite after losing face to Jim Jam's snake.
The Consumption
Hamburgers
36 — snapped whole with "a curious sort of jump."
Hot Dogs
99
Junk Yard Dogs
29
Coney Islands
55
Macedonia Fruit Salads
105
Coffee
12 gallons, urn, straw.
Principle
"Every one loves to do the one thing he is good at, and so did John's-Head."
Patrick's Embedded Narrative: The Third Third
The accent revelation. First explicit naming of "God the Father."
Sequence
Language
Himself spoke "In English, but with a touch of Jewish accent that went back to the grandfather days."
The Mirror
The lad: "Like yours. Very like yours."
Patrick's History
Accent "cured" forty years ago. Changed old name to an Irish name. "I had no idea that I still had an accent."
Implications
Patrick's Identity
Patrick is a concealed Jew — name changed, accent "cured." His withheld surname is presumably his original Jewish name.
God's Accent
God the Father speaks with a residual Jewish accent — His self-expression retains traces of His chosen people.
The Mirror
The vessel and the Potter share an accent. Both attempted to conceal their Jewishness; both failed; both are detectable only by a child.
First Naming
Madam Jingo: "How would one go about telling God the Father. . ." — the circumlocution of "Himself" breaks casually, embedded in a joke.
Timeline
At the Bash
During Bash
Jim Jam arrives. Snake sequence. Theological argument. Jim Jam departs.
During Bash
John's-Head's eating contest.
24 hours in
"Twenty-four hours went by."
After the Bash
After second dawn
Return to shop. Patrick tells the third third: accent revelation. First naming of "God the Father."
Allusions & References
1. "Smelling of candy and tigers" — Borges
Jorge Luis Borges, Dreamtigers (El hacedor, 1960)
Candy = the crowd at the Bash. Tigers = Jim Jam. The New Crystal Palace smells of both. The festive and the predatory occupy the same space.
2. "The slickest trick of the Devil"
Charles Baudelaire, "Le joueur généreux," in Le Spleen de Paris (1869)
John's-Head upgrades Baudelaire: the real trick is not doubting the Devil but doubting that anything supernatural is happening. Madam Jingo demonstrates the trick working in real time.
3. Rod-to-Serpent
Exodus 7:8–12
Jim Jam's walking stick becomes a snake — the Exodus miracle. But Jim Jam is the Pharaoh-side sorcerer, not the Moses-side prophet. His power is real but demonic.
4. Phriktossitos
Greek: φρικτός (dreadful) + σῖτος (grain)
"Dread-grain" — Hell's own crop. A pun on "corn" (cereal) and "corny" (trite). Hell grows its own grain, and it is not trite.
5. "Iron meadows of Hell"
Lafferty demonology
Hell with topography — agricultural but metallurgical. Things grow, but from metal rather than earth.
6. "Head of a person only, less than an entity"
Scholastic-philosophical language
A metaphysical insult: John's-Head lacks the ontological fullness to challenge Jim Jam.
7. "Until my hour is come"
John 2:4, 7:30, 8:20, etc.
Christ's eschatological language appropriated by Satan for his own apocalyptic schedule.
8. "Jewish accent. . . the grandfather days"
Patriarchal tradition; Yiddish diaspora
God's accent goes back to the literal Patriarchs and sounds like the accents of actual Jewish grandfathers in modern England.
9. Patrick's Name Change
Jewish assimilation in Britain
A compressed history: name changes, elocution, cultural passing. "Patrick" — quintessentially Irish-Catholic for a concealed Jew.
Textual Notes & Puzzles
Ontology
The Cap Change
Policeman's cap → commodore's cap. Introduced parenthetically as a self-correction. No explanation. Commodores outrank police; the promotion is unexplained.
Structure
Section III Has No Numeral
§I = "1.", §II = "2", §IV = "4". Section III has only the Borges epigraph — no "3". The section that doubts its own reality lacks its own label.
Medical
"Seven Deadly Viruses" vs. Actual List
Graf Autograf says "viruses" — but the list includes a genetic condition, bacterial infections, and an invented disease. Medical accuracy is subordinate to the pattern of seven.
Theology
The Accent Mirror
Patrick and God share the same residual Jewish accent. Both attempted to pass as non-Jewish; both failed; both detectable only to a child. The vessel and the Potter share a biographical structure.
Theology
God the Father's Jewishness
In trinitarian theology, the Father is uncreated and incorporeal — not ethnically Jewish. Lafferty either extends the Incarnation's particularity to the Father (heterodox) or makes the broader point that the God of Abraham sounds like Abraham.
Narrative
Where Does the Intake Go?
John's-Head's throat is sealed. Food vanishes. A miracle of annihilation, a portal, or appetite without metabolism. The story simply records the phenomenon.
Dramatis Personae
Three new entities; several identities resolved.
3
New Characters
7
Continuing
1
Identity Revealed
New in Section IV
George God-the-Father GregoryEscaped Inmate · St. Audrey's▶
Original Name
George Light-on-the-Mountain Gregory.
Name Change
On escape day, legally changed middle name to "God-the-Father."
Description
"A large and tweedy man." "Supposed to be harmless, but he leaves a trail of harm behind him every time he gets out."
The Attendant from St. Audrey'sAsylum Staff▶
Role
Seeks escaped inmate. Has an anonymous tip connecting him to Old-York Square. Patrick denies seeing him.
The Trenton ConsortiumSeven Men · Devil-Worshippers▶
Purchase
Bought the autograph page for $99,999,999 — "just one dollar short of being a nine-figure price."
Interest
Primary interest: Satan's autograph. God's autograph thrown in because inseparable.
Visit
Nine minutes. "A grubbier sort of visitors."
Continuing
Patrick T. K.The Dirty Deal▶
The Sale
Sold the page for $99,999,999. Three items: (1) Jim Jam's autograph — main item; (2) God's autograph — thrown in; (3) "a vital piece of my soul as another not-very-important something else."
Emotional State
"A sad smile and a horribly bereaved voice."
Lie/Truth
Tells the attendant he hasn't seen the large tweedy man.
Epithet Reprised
"Patrick (that vessel of ungainly make)" — the Khayyám epithet returns at his deepest loss.
John's-Head JohnsonThe Ark▶
The Lantern
"Might as well blow out the lantern now."
The Ark
Hired carpenters to build an ark. Believes "an ungodly flood will strike Old York Square."
Income
8,000 autographs × $10 = $80,000. "The fastest mouth at the bash." Signed with a pen in his mouth.
Diamond-Eyes DuganKey Analysis▶
Jim Jam = Satan
"Jim Jam is Satan himself. We all know it for sure now, but Jim Jam knows it only one chance in seven."
Trenton
"The Roma and Mecca of the cult of Devil-worshippers."
Final Line
"Tell us everything about this high-priced deal that you made, Patrick." — the story ends.
Revelations
Six major disclosures that Section IV makes explicit.
1. The Identity of "Himself"
Confirmed
"The Person God the Father, in contemporary garb, had been walking His favorite Earth, as He often did."
"Favorite Earth"
Implies multiple Earths. This one is specially loved.
2. Script and Handedness
Confirmed
"He had written it left-handed, in beautiful and proud Old Hebrew."
3. The Smudge = Satan's Autograph
Confirmed
"The autograph behind God's back on the deal behind God's back."
4. Jim Jam = Satan
Confirmed
By Diamond-Eyes. But Jim Jam "knows it only one chance in seven."
5. Patrick's Soul
Confirmed
"A vital piece of my soul as another not-very-important something else."
6. The Sixth Hand's Fate
Confirmed
Sold to Devil-worshippers who didn't want it. Balance shifts from 3 saints / 2 devils to 3 / 3.
The Dirty Deal
The central transaction of the entire story.
Terms
Seller
Patrick T. K.
Buyers
Seven men from Trenton, New Jersey — Devil-worshippers' capital.
Price
$99,999,999.
Duration
Nine minutes.
Character
"Not a clean deal. It was a dirty deal."
What Changed Hands
Main Item
Jim Jam's autograph (Satan's) — what the buyers wanted.
Secondary
God's autograph — thrown in, inseparable.
Tertiary
A vital piece of Patrick's soul — "not-very-important."
The Complete Chain
Step 1
God signs the lad's autograph book in Old Hebrew, left-handed.
Step 2
Jim Jam's autograph on the reverse (circumstances unspecified).
Step 3
Lad sells page to Patrick for one shilling.
Step 4
Lad returns for second shilling for the reverse.
Step 5
Patrick sells both autographs + piece of soul for $99,999,999.
The Asylum Visit
The devastating interpolation that creates the story's central undecidable.
The Report
Inmate
George Light-on-the-Mountain Gregory. Escaped ~1 week ago. Changed name to George God-the-Father Gregory.
Description
"A large and tweedy man."
Assessment
"Supposed to be harmless, but he leaves a trail of harm behind him every time he gets out."
The Undecidable Question
Either/Or
Was the Person who signed the autograph book God the Father, or George Gregory, an escaped lunatic?
For God
Levitation. Cosmic true size. Transbiogeographic birds. Old Hebrew script. Five prior matching signatures. Jewish accent "going back to the grandfather days."
For Gregory
Large tweedy man. Escaped from asylum. Changed name to God-the-Father. Connected to Old-York Square. Timing matches. Diamond-Eyes recognizes the name.
Lafferty's Method
The story sustains both readings simultaneously to the last line. Authentication — the story's obsessive theme — fails at the ultimate test.
Timeline
After the Bash
After §III
Dealers depart to their countries and continents.
+29 hours
The Trenton consortium visits. Nine minutes. The dirty deal.
Shortly after
John's-Head: "Might as well blow out the lantern now." Patrick extinguishes it.
Shortly after
The attendant from St. Audrey's visits. Reports George God-the-Father Gregory. Patrick denies seeing him.
Within ~1 hour
Spotter spots extinguished lantern. Dealers return.
Shortly after
The interrogation. Patrick reveals the deal's terms.
Final line
Diamond-Eyes: "Tell us everything about this high-priced deal that you made, Patrick."
Allusions & References
1. The Belloc Epigraph
Hilaire Belloc, Heroic Poem in Praise of Wine (1932)
"Bootless for such as these the mighty task / Of bottling God the Father in a flask." The dealers have been trying to contain God's signature in a commercial transaction. The epigraph declares this futile. You cannot own the Hand of the Potter.
2. "His favorite Earth"
Lafferty cosmology; John 14:2 "many mansions"
Implies multiple Earths. This one is specially loved. Aligns with Lafferty's broader cosmological imagination.
3. St. Audrey's
St. Æthelthryth; etymology of "tawdry"
The word "tawdry" derives from "St. Audrey's lace" — cheap goods sold at her annual fair. An asylum named for St. Audrey carries associations of the sacred degraded into the shoddy.
4. "Light-on-the-Mountain"
Matthew 5:14, 17:1–8
Evokes both "a city set on a hill" and the Transfiguration. A name of divine radiance, replaced by the blunt "God-the-Father."
5. The Faust Bargain
Christopher Marlowe, Doctor Faustus; Goethe, Faust; folk tradition
Patrick gives a soul-piece to Devil-worshipping buyers. But the Faust myth is radically deflated: the soul is "not-very-important." The horror is in the casualness.
6. "Trenton Ephratah"
Micah 5:2 (cf. Matthew 2:6)
Parodies "But thou, Bethlehem Ephratah" — the Messiah's birthplace. Trenton is the anti-Bethlehem: "out of you shall come an impetus and an infection that will rock the Earth."
7. "The Roma and Mecca"
Pilgrimage tradition
Trenton as the Vatican and Kaaba of Devil-worshippers. A modest American city elevated to dual-capital status.
8. Noah's Ark
Genesis 6–9
John's-Head commissions an ark for the prophesied flood. The Töpelgeist takes the Nostradamus prophecy seriously when no one else does.
9. "Less here than meets the mind"
Inversion of "more than meets the eye"
Diamond-Eyes hopes the situation is shallower than thought apprehends. "Mind" replaces "eye": the problem is cognitive, not perceptual.
10. "Behind God's back"
Idiomatic; theological paradox
Nothing can be "behind God's back" — omniscience has no blind spot. Yet Satan's autograph is literally on the back of God's page. The deal is conducted behind divine knowledge — or in its omniscient tolerance.
11. Seven nightmares / one chance in seven
Lafferty epistemology
Jim Jam lives in seven nightmares corresponding to seven diseases. In only one is he aware he is Satan. The Devil's best trick is practiced on himself.
Textual Notes & Puzzles
Central Problem
God or Gregory?
The story's central undecidable. Supernatural details support the divine reading; the asylum report supports the mundane reading. Lafferty sustains both to the last line. The story stops where authentication fails.
Central Problem
Implications of Each Reading
If God: Patrick sold God's autograph and a soul-piece to Devil-worshippers — a cosmic tragedy. If Gregory: Patrick was deceived by a lunatic and sold a worthless page for $99,999,999 — a comic swindle. The story functions fully under both.
Structure
The Open Ending
Diamond-Eyes demands the full account. Patrick does not answer. The text stops — a structural refusal. Some transactions cannot be fully narrated.
Theology
"Harmless, but leaves a trail of harm"
If God: a devastating theological statement — divine presence in the world generates harm (the dirty deal, the shifted balance). If Gregory: clinical description. Either way, seeming harmlessness producing actual harm describes the entire story.
Title
"An Idyll"
Ironic from the start — or Lafferty's insistence that even a dirty deal behind God's back is part of the Creator's pleasant walking-day on His favorite Earth.
Symmetry
Saints and Devils: 3:3
The balance is now symmetrical. Good and evil are evenly distributed. Whether this is catastrophe or equilibrium, the story does not say.
Narrative
Patrick's Lie — or Truth
If the Person was God, Patrick truthfully says he hasn't seen the inmate. If the Person was Gregory, Patrick lies. The lie/truth maps directly onto God/Gregory.
Numerology
$99,999,999 — One Dollar Short
The gap between eight figures and nine — between earthly and transcendent. You cannot quite reach nine figures because you cannot quite bottle God the Father in a flask.
Structure
The Four Epigraphs
§I: Khayyám — the vessel and the Potter. §II: Lafferty doggerel — the hellish and divine. §III: Borges — candy and tigers. §IV: Belloc — the futility of containing God. The arc: from creation through spectacle and danger to impossibility.